What is Sex Therapy?

Sex and sexuality are healthy, integral parts of being human. People’s interest in sex and what gives them pleasure is as varied as any other character traits about a person (some people love pizza, others love lasagna- there’s no need to “yuck” someone else’s “yum”), yet our society tells us the story that we should be ashamed of our desires and keep our sex life private. Therefore, most people don’t know how to talk about sex, desire and pleasure in a meaningful way.

Sex therapy is a talk-based form of counseling that helps you understand and communicate your arousal, pleasure and desire.

Most modern sex therapy involves accurate sex education, since most people do not learn about sex in school or from their families in ways that are helpful and affirming. Many people learn that sex is taboo, is only for married heterosexual, thin people, and that orgasm is easy for all people. These unhelpful beliefs can create a sense of shame within people with they don’t fit this narrow mold.

Most people turn to mainstream media and porn to learn about what sex should be like, and most of those representations are just not real. Porn, in particular, is a form of entertainment based in fantasy, but many people watch it and believe it is reality. You wouldn’t learn to drive by watching Fast and Furious, so you shouldn’t learn about sex through porn!

Sex therapy helps clients examine their beliefs about how sex “should” be, and develop healthier beliefs that are in better alignment with reality. Body issues, self-esteem, sexual shame, gender expectations, and past trauma can all effect someone’s sexuality.

A clinical sexologist can help empower clients to find out what turns them on and what gets them off, and how to communicate their genuine sexual needs to a partner.

Together, a therapist and client(s) can work together to meet a client’s sexual goals.