Beyond the Script: Why Everything You Learned About Sex Is Wrong (And How to Fix It)
Beyond the Script: Why Everything You Learned About Sex Is Wrong (And How to Fix It)
Sex and sexuality are healthy, integral parts of being human. Our interests, desires, and the ways we find pleasure are as varied as any other personality trait—some people love pizza, while others prefer lasagna. In a healthy world, there is no need to “yuck” someone else’s “yum.”
Yet, we live in a society that hands us a rigid, narrow script: one that says we should be ashamed of our desires and keep our sex lives hidden. The result? Most of us never actually learn how to talk about sex, desire, and pleasure in a meaningful way.
The Fantasy Trap: Porn vs. Reality
Because sex is treated as a taboo subject in schools and families, many people turn to mainstream media or pornography to learn what sex "should" look like.
While pornography can be a form of entertainment, it is a fantasy, not a roadmap. You wouldn’t learn how to drive by watching The Fast and the Furious, and you shouldn’t learn about human intimacy through porn. When we compare our real bodies and experiences to these polished, edited fantasies, it creates a deep sense of inadequacy and shame.
De-programming the "Narrow Mold"
Most of us grew up with unhelpful messages—that sex is only for certain body types, that it belongs only within a specific marital structure, or that orgasm should be "easy" and instantaneous for everyone. These myths create a "narrow mold" that very few people actually fit.
In sex therapy, we examine these inherited scripts and begin the process of de-programming beliefs that don't serve you. Whether it’s body image concerns, self-esteem, gender expectations, or past trauma, these factors all shape your sexual landscape.
The New Script: What Happens in Sex Therapy?
Sex therapy is a talk-based form of counseling designed to help you understand and communicate your arousal, pleasure, and desire. As a clinical sexologist, I provide a space to:
Receive Accurate Education: Filling in the gaps left by traditional "Sex Ed" with affirming, evidence-based information.
Reclaim Your Voice: Learning how to communicate your genuine sexual needs to a partner without apology or shame.
Discover Your "Yes": Empowering you to find out what truly turns you on and what brings you to a place of fulfillment.
Together, we work to dismantle the "shoulds" and build a sexual life that is in alignment with your true, empowered self.
