Reclaiming Pleasure in a Post-Roe World
For millions of people in the United States, the sense of bodily autonomy has shifted. With abortion now outlawed or severely restricted in over half the country—often without exceptions for rape, incest, or the life of the pregnant person—we face a sobering new reality: in many states, a pregnancy now holds more legal rights than the person carrying it.
Unintended pregnancies happen. Medically complicated pregnancies happen. In a country where maternal mortality rates are already higher than in most developed nations, pregnancy has become a high-stakes experience—both physically and politically.
The Human Reality of Abortion
Abortion is a safe, common, and essential medical procedure. Statistics show that one in four people with a uterus will have an abortion by age 45. These are our neighbors, our teachers, our family dentists, and our friends. Yet, for many, accessing this care has moved from a standard right to a path that is intentionally burdensome, or even criminally penalized.
In this climate, the act of sex itself has been fundamentally altered. For those who can become pregnant, sperm can now be the catalyst for a traumatic experience: being forced to carry a pregnancy to term against one's will.
Redefining Sex and Safety
As a sex therapist, reproductive rights activist, and person with a uterus, I find myself at a professional crossroads. How do I continue to advocate for penis-in-vagina (PIV) intercourse when it now carries such profound risk?
Further, we must confront a long-standing clinical truth: for many people with vaginas, PIV is not actually the most pleasurable form of sex. Often, it is a "sexual script"—a role expectation we’ve been taught to view as the only "real" sex. This script largely centers the pleasure of those who will never face the consequences of a resulting pregnancy.
As a sex-positive, pleasure-focused therapist, I have to ask: How do we advocate for a sex act that has become so politically charged and literally dangerous?
The Path Forward: Empowerment Through Creativity
The answer lies in comprehensive education, reliable contraception, and—most importantly—informed consent. The stakes of an "oops" changed fundamentally in 2022.
Pleasure is a holistic experience. It is not confined to a single act. It includes gentle touch, oral stimulation, fantasy, deep connection, and joy. Perhaps it is time to redefine our sexual scripts, shifting the focus away from PIV and toward safer, more empowering forms of play.
My Commitment to You
I will always meet my clients exactly where they are. Whether your journey involves PIV, abstaining, navigating pregnancy, or seeking an abortion, I am here to support your right to choose what is best for your life and your body.
Pleasure is our birthright. In a world that seeks to restrict our bodies, it is time to get more creative, more intentional, and more protective of how we experience it.
